An orphan named Simon has dreamed of appearing on ‘Stars in Their Eyes’ since he was a small boy, living with his aunt and uncle in Leeds. He writes to Matthew Kelly year after year, and finally gets an audition.

The audition goes really well and he drives back up to Leeds to celebrate getting on the show, but as he is nearing home he has a terrible car accident, and loses his legs due to horrendous crush injuries. The surgeon who removes the mangled legs ‘phones his relatives to break the awful news. When Simon’s aunt related the tragedy to her husband, he collapses and dies of a heart attack. Hearing the terrible plight of the family, the surgeon suggests that, as they are blood relatives, he would like to try grafting the legs of the freshly deceased man onto his nephewТs body. The aunt agrees, and the legs are packed in ice and rushed to the hospital, where they are successfully attached to Simon. There follow 9 months of painful rehabilitation, but eventually the brave young man is walking again.

During a propaganda tour through the US George Bush stopped off at a school to lecture the kids on the administrations policies. After he had finished he asked the kids for questions.

Young Bob jumped up first, “Mr President, I have three questions.
1. How did you manage to win the vote for the presidency when you had less votes than Gore?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without any reason?
3. Don’t you think that dropping the A-Bomb on Hiroshima was the biggest ever terror attack in history?”
Just at that moment the school bell rang for the break and the kids all walked out.