"My brand new, straight out of the box Ryzen 7 5800X"
2
"Got a free pair of wire cutters this morning."
3
"Yesterday, I was walking home, and two dogs came out of nowhere and bit me on both legs."
4
"Order a $3700 laptop, UPS says they missed me for signature, then mark it delivered 4 hours later."
5
"Dry cleaner ruined my wedding sari."
6
"USPS threw away my package."
7
"I think someone is getting fired."
8
"Suddenly developed allergies to our 6 month old cat."
9
"Oh joy. I have 80 patches on my back for allergy testing. I can't bend my back at all the way that it's taped. I'm going to be super stiff for the next 48 hours while these are on."
10
"We bought 12 quail eggs for price of 12. We got 10 due to clever packaging."
11
"On vacation and just got this photo of a package delivered to my house. The garage door should NOT be open."
12
"Chat GPT has forced many college professors to resort to old school in-person written exams. Many students have become so accustomed to writing on a computer that they now lack basic handwriting skills. This is the result, and it’s my job as the TA to grade them all. Woo."
13
"Ripped my shorts out walking and of course it had to be on a day I wore cartoonish underwear."
14
"Decided to finally quit alcohol. Got a cramp attack from the abstinence and broke my shoulder"
15
"Concert tickets are $50 dollars more expensive for guys. (20% of ticket price)"
16
"Came home from vacation to my side view mirrors being stolen."