"This is my last bit of food until I get my last paycheck on Thursday. Lost my job on Monday. Just after I put the cheese on I realized it expired last year."
3
"My new trainers arrived today"
4
"Accidentally let my shorts touch the floor for 2 seconds in the airport bathroom"
5
"Knelt down to get a ping pong ball from under the table at work and heard a little rip…"
6
"A few years ago, I worked at an Apple Store and a fella brought in 16 in MacBook Pro that he bought off of Amazon. This is what Amazon shipped him."
7
"Split my shorts wide open whilst doing squats at my local gym."
8
"Couldn’t get out of my driveway this morning. I had the car towed and now my neighbor is pissed."
9
"Bucket of paint fell from attic, wiping out dresser, carpet and walls"
10
11
Ok then.
12
"While moving my daughter out of her apartment, a couch was dropped on my head."
13
"Today's special: Chocolate Water."
14
"Have a final in an hour, only pair of glasses just broke"