Terrible Estate (24 pics)

1

The Plastic Sheeting Is For The Vomit Caused By The Migraine Caused By Everything Else

2

“As Gregor Samsa Awoke One Morning From Uneasy Dreams He Found Himself Transformed Into A Black Gym Ball”

3

Like A Circle In A Spiral, Like A Wheel Within A Wheel. Like A Toilet In A Shower, In A Kitchen, With Hanging Space For Clothes, And A Portable Radiator

4

As He Listened To Them Driving Away, George Realised It Wasn’t A Real Game Of Hide And Seek

5

The Lord Has Sent Us A Sign, In The Form Of 2 Hideous Rugs And A Huge Crystal Bowling Pin

6

We Don’t Know What He Does In There. He Says He’ll Tell Us Once He’s Caught Something

7

When It Came To Selling Their House, Slipknot’s Decision To Manage Their Own Viewings Was Ill-Advised And Unsuccessful

8

“Honey, I Found The Perfect Place For Our Wall-Mounted Naked Limbless Gender-Neutral Toddler Dolls”

9

I’ll Make The Bed As Soon As I Can Find It

10

I Love Excercise. I Could Lay In Bed And Watch It All Day

11

Off-Street Parking

12

Property Comes Complete With A Frisky Middle-Aged Woman And Half A Bottle Of Chardonnay

13

The Music Drowns Out The Washing Machine Drowns Out The Toilet Helps You Forget About The Mirrors

14

I Mean It Marv, If You Walk Out That Door We’re Finished

15

That Time When Open Plan Living Broke Through The Acceptability Threshold

16

This Bath Was Brought To You By The Letter H And The Realisation That Interior Design Just Changed Forever

17

How Thoughtful Of The Seller To Leave Us A Self-Portrait Of Her Breast-Feeding Her Dog

18

The Sun Will Set, And The Demons Of The Night Will Rise. Until Then, The Vaccuum Cleaner Sleeps A Dreamless Sleep

19

You Can Have Storage Or You Can Have A Bathroom. You Can’t Have Both

20

4 Bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms, And Extensive Opportunities For Open Plan Off-Roading

21

I’m Not Suggesting It’s Inauthentic, But Did Henry Viii Definitely Have A Weights Bench?

22

The Isolationist Equivalent Of A Welcome Mat

23

Bob Would Smile To Himself Whenever He Thought Of The Money He’d Saved By Not Installing Air-Con