“I’m the only person in my entire office of 30 people who dressed up today and I’m in a full body banana suit.”
1
Washer vibrated it’s way behind the door.”
2
“New neighbors moved in in front of us. They keep these lights on all the time. This is our bedroom windows and the view from our bed at 2am.”
3
“Can’t go out to the plans I made tonight because the maintenance guy changed my locks but half assed it.”
4
“Our first year where we thought we could afford the electric bill to put out some Christmas lights and by the second week somebody decided to cut our lights. Why??!??”
5
6
“So glad Delta gave me the option of paying extra to select a window seat.”
7
8
“Emptied out my savings to have my laptop screen fixed before finals. 1 week later and now it stops working during finals week – I just don’t know what to do anymore.”
9
10
“My 2 week old septic tank floated from the first big rain”
11
“Had big plans for dinner tonight. Little guy must’ve liked bacon grease and onions…”
12
13
14
“I’m in my mid 30s and unfortunately still sleepwalk occasionally. Took a sleepwalking tumble down the stairs last night…”
15
“Does this make my cat an abstract expressionist?”
16
“Just rented an RV for the weekend, forgot to take off the glass when cooking”
17
“Silence is golden. But when you have kids, silence is suspicious.”
18
“Before and after I got my wisdom teeth removed”
19
“AirPods went missing...turns out my kid buried them in the backyard.”
20
“’Children’s horseplay’ — found that at my grocery store.”
21
“Help! My kid destroyed my monstera and ripped all of the leaves off.”
22
“My children are animals.”
23
“My brother ripped off the handle by accident. This should be fun.”
24
“My daughter drew me a picture. Yes, that is a house fire. And yes, those are human souls floating above.”
25
“Apparently this is how a 5-year-old opens a new loaf of bread.”
26
“I was starting a fire and heard my youngest saying he was stuck. This is how I found him.”
27
“I had to take a shirt to my son’s (kindergarten) school.”
28
“The girl he sat next to on the bus brought homemade ’slime’ and the container opened. It’s also picture day.”
“Fingertips were stomped on by a 3-year-old.”
29
“A letter I apparently wrote to my mother in kindergarten: ’IT IS NOT PEE.’”
30
The letter says:
"Dir (Dear) Mom my bed is wet but it is not pee.
For Mom from Megan"
“Yesterday we couldn’t find my brother’s phone, and today we found it.”
31
“Found this in the game room, compliments of my 5-year-old.”
32
“We cleaned out our daughter’s room today and found a tin full of dice.”
33
“All of our games have their dice so I have no clue from who and when these were ’collected.’”
"Drunk driver went off the road, hit my car, drove through my shed, and killed my lawn mower. Than ran away."
34
"Package with my $200 headphones arrived ripped open and empty"
35
"Uber eats delivery guy literally pulled my pizza out of his backpack."
36
"Someone unwrapped my Christmas Present :("
37
"Our plane's windshield decided to call it quits at 30,000ft and had to make an emergency landing"
38
39
"My heater stopped working when it was -40 degrees in the night."