"My wife scrapes off the cream and only eats the cookie from her Oreo"
"My husband added swiss cheese to the pizza..... considering divorce right now"
"My wife gave me bathbomb for Valentines called LUNA. Pretty sure they should have called it WATERBIRTH"
"My husband got a free ergonomic chair, the downside being peach color fabric. He got black covers to go on it and accidentally gave himself perma plumbers crack"
"Made my husband the Eddie Murphy Sonic the Hedgehog SNL cake for his birthday. Thrilled with how hilariously awful it turned out"