"Got bitten by a mosquito… i can barely move my hand now.'
1
"Just blended up some fresh Diablo sauce."
2
"My wife informed me I sleep walked last night."
3
"Dropped 10 pounds of beads on the floor today at work. Boss was not happy."
4
"Welp, I almost fell into a sinkhole under my porch. I caught myself on the edge of the hole, from my chest down was just dangling beneath me. Below the opening the hole is about 10’ wide and 15’ deep."
5
"While making dinner, the kitchen tile just fell off the wall."
6
"I went outside for an hour on Accutane... "
7
"Kiddo brought lice home from school… mortified."
8
"My house got hit by a tornado yesterday, it's heavily damaged but still standing, and nobody is injured. I have no idea how to get the grill out of my pool's deep end though."
9
"My throat got very big 3 weeks ago and we went to the doctors for it. turns out i have a pretty rare disease that lasts for 4-6 weeks. I got a whole lot of medication for the pain, but i also got some for sleeping. turns out I'm very allergic to it. This is over my entire body."
10
"$396 bottle of eye drops my dad needs before cataract surgery. Medicare didn't cover it. (Quarter for scale)."
11
"I accidentally ripped out my eyelashes an hour before I got married."
12
"Just bought a TV and broke it while mounting it."
13
"Finally found where that melted plastic smell was coming from."
14
"Just got my car back from body shop last month. Looks like I get to pay another deductible."
15
16
"Guess who s never going snowboarding ever again?"
17
"Down to my last $20, and now I need to fix this."
18
"Guess what kind of animal nonchalantly pushed my mug from the table."
19
"The handle of the cooler broke as I was carrying down all the drinks I had 20 min before my friends, I haven't seen in months, arrived."