A marriage proposal is only one knee away from begging.
1
A wedding is the biggest celebration for 2 people about to have $$x.
Considering the divorce rate, it'd be better if people spent less money on weddings, and more money on marriage counseling.
Marriage was more appealing when the average life expectancy was only 35.
2
The fact that the first person they suspect after someone is murdered is the spouse tells me everything I need to know about marriage.
Why are wedding dresses bought and tuxedos rented? The utility of each is such that it should be the other way around.
Having to attend a wedding you don't want to sucks more than having to attend a funeral. At least at the funeral you don't have to pretend you're happy to be there
3
We say “marriage is forever” but divorce is definitely more forever
Marriage is one of the few things where we consider someone an expert if they've only successfully done it once.
Being unhappily married is like having a guest over that’s never leaves for the rest of your life.
4
People that wait until they’re married to have sex only have sex with people in their family.
Marriage licenses should have a expiration date like driver licenses. That way people could just not renew instead of going through a long divorce process.
Whoever created the tradition of not seeing the bride in the wedding dress beforehand saved countless husbands everywhere from hours of dress shopping and will forever be a hero to all men.
5
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced-and yet I'd still be using the same box of Q-tips.
Marriage is marketed as the beginning of a woman’s life, but the end of a mans.
People get so focused on their wedding that they forget there’s an actual marriage afterwards.
Marriage proposals are weird. The proposer gets to take as long as he/she wants to determine whether they want to spend the rest of their life with someone. The propose is expected to make a split-second decision.
6
Weddings are weird because it's totally socially acceptable to get all your friends and family together, sort them by how much you like them, and place them at tables that shows the ranking based on proximity to you.
Whoever said that rain on your wedding day is good luck was just trying to calm down an anxious bride.
7
A successful marriage ends with watching the other person die.
Being happily married is like having a sleepover with your best friend every night for the rest of your life.
79% of marriage is waiting for your spouse to get ready.
8
Saying yes on your wedding day is saying no to 7.53 billion people.