"I guess my new eye doctor still has to work on his dilating skills. Migraine incoming."
1
"So.. Got my shiny new Tablet in Monday - Delivered with care from FedEx..."
2
"While I was walking in to work this morning, in the rain."
3
"Someone stole the radio out of my car today."
4
"In other news, summer has arrived in the Southern Hemisphere."
5
"When you take an allergy test and get this..."
6
"After falling down some stairs on a cruise ship."
7
"After my 17th near-heart-attack, I realized- I really need to move my lamp."
8
9
"I knocked my Newton’s cradle off my desk."
10
"So I found out that my shoes have a hole in them... At the urinal at work."
11
"I've been saving this wine for a long time. Maybe too long."
12
"My sister unplugged my 3d printer with only a few layers left on this 20 hour print."
13
"The Roomba ran over our dogs sh*t."
14
Homemade pizza for dinner!
15
"My wife has has been on hold for nearly 4 hours trying to get through to her insurance company, has yet to speak to an representative."
16
"Slipped while putting the muffins in the oven."
17
"Been saving for a 4K TV for months. Finally could afford one today. Turned it on..."
18
19
"One of our harvest crew moved over for a car and the road crumbled underneath him, so if you ever wanted to know what 30,000lbs of soybeans in a ditch looks like here ya go."
20
"Hard mode activated. Sliced both thumbs wide open at the same time."
21
"Ate some chocolate-covered açaí on my bed last night, only to realize this morning that I dropped one and slept with it in my bed."
22
"Went fossil hunting and got covered in stickers."
23
"The SoCal heat wave killed my pumpkin."
24
"This is how my friends bow showed up."
25
"Wife likes to store things in the oven... I don’t. Because I don’t think to check."
26
"Found the keys for my locked car."
27
"The handle broke off my pot while draining my noodles and now my lunch is ruined."
28
"You ever mess up burgers so bad that even your grill is surprised?"