"Almost finished my nectarine on my lunch break today and the pit broke open while I was taking a bite, revealing an ant colony, eggs and all."
"Booked a hotel with a "game room" as a key feature... Its just a foosball table in the lobby."
"Car crashed into my business that was supposed to have its grand opening in 4 days."
"Car parked outside chemical plant that had a fire."
"Didn’t know I bought an ice cream cake and put it in the fridge."
"Not only was my car broken into... but they emptied an ENTIRE FIRE EXTINGUISHER into it as well."
"Bought a Subaru yesterday... took it out for our first drive and got hit with a rock. Now I need a new windshield."
"My cat bit me last night. Im now at the Doctor's office because its infected and i can't move it."
"After a sh*t-tastic day at work, was really pleased to find that my left-behind charger had arrived in the mail. Because I am my own worst enemy, I hastily opened the package with scissors."
"We drove literally 2 1/2 hours with our 7 meter long mobile home trough the tiniest roads to have the best view of Monaco."
"My dad texted me at 1:30 this morning after his neighbors came pounding on his door to tell him his van was on fire."
"I passed out while I was walking to the bathroom and I chipped both of my front teeth."
"Preheated the oven without knowing someone else was using it to prove bread in a tupaware box."
"My essay i left in my pocket that went through the washing machine."