Welcome To America (35 pics)

George Carlin: "Sigmund Freud said, 'sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.' Oh yeah? Well sometimes it's a big brown dick! That's all this is! White, middle-class losers sucking on big brown dicks! But hey, the news ain't all bad. You know the best part about cigars? Cancer of the mouth!"

Wouldn't it be great to be there the moment one of these witless wonders was told he's dying of cancer? Maybe we could get a Big Tobacco executive to pose as the doctor, and then reveal himself after giving the bad news.

Come on! The look of "holy f*cking Christ what an IDIOT I've been!" just might be the first time in their brief, pointless lives that they have an adult, somewhat intelligent thought. The entertainment value would be beyond priceless. I see a new reality show on the horizon.

#11 apparently Dad doesn't understand trigger discipline? That's ok, because accidental gun deaths are ALSO very "American". :|

# 14 - Italian pizza, british bacon, german burger, french fries