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Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

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  • 3 May, 2021  |
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Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"Everybody is over educated and wildly underpaid. Typically most single people can last about 2-3 years before they have to move on. The ones with longevity have spouses who bring home the bread and let them chase their dreams.

Winters suck. Part time hours and being outside in the cold.

The dolphin trainers are stuck up. They are like the jocks in high school. They usually try to stay in shape because wetsuits aren’t flattering. They perform daily and people love them so they have an ego.

You dread when a coworker gets pregnant because you’ll have to pick up extra tasks."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"The poor penguin keepers can never quite get rid of the miasma of dead fish that envelopes them. As for me, the stinkiest job I ever had to do was cleaning out the duck ponds. Managed to empty a whole train carriage that evening, even though I had changed and my work clothes were double-bagged."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"When you’re cleaning underneath the perches, parrots will wait for you to look up before taking a ###t. They have a good aim. That's how you get ###t in the mouth. Don’t look up."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"I worked with large tortoises. We had these 5-gallon buckets for cleaning the poop out of enclosures and other buckets for feeding them fresh grass we cut. The first day on the job I took both buckets into the pen and started by dumping out the grass. Then I went around to collect poop. I heard this awful loud grunting and something breaking.

One of the 300 lb. males tried to bang the bucket in front of visitors and flattened it. He would even follow me around just in case I might leave more innocent buckets unattended."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"Aquariums have captive breeding programs for some of the dolphins and whales, but they are too difficult to transport for mating. So they have to use artificial insemination. Which requires semen samples from whales.

Which means that it’s someone's job to give hand jobs to dolphins and whales in order to collect the sperm. It’s part of the animal’s training, and the whales will roll over and present their genitals on command."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"The zebras and Przewalski’s horses are ruthless and will tear apart any unfortunate kangaroo that dares break into an enclosure. They love the thrill of the chase… and the subsequent kill when they get bored."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"Our lions will urinate on guests if they get too close, which is always funny to see. Not so funny to smell."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"If you work with the animals there’s a good chance you’ll not be able to have any kind of social life, between the long hours/weekends and the stench.

I’ve been kicked out of stores after work because I apparently stunk way worse than I thought I did – even after scrubbing off!

And I’m around animals every day, but I still can’t stand when otter / sealion keepers are around me in “all-hands” meetings. The rotten fish + ferrety otter smell combo is a gagger. Meanwhile, I work with apes, and they say that I smell like I haven’t showed in a decade (again…even after I shower)."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"Used to work at a zoo, cold weather makes the animals more active so go on a chilly day or first thing in the morning to see the best show from the animals.

Also, those free roaming peacocks are really stupid and sometimes go in the lions exhibit and get torn up."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"I used to volunteer weekly at a large zoo and at one point management started doing monthly dangerous animal escape drills. Someone would run around in a lion onesie and we’d have to react as if one of the large animals had escaped.

It was hilarious but one of the funniest things I was taught was that if an incident did occur you have to tell the nearby guests to get inside only once. If after that they refuse to follow you indoors (the protocol was to hole up in the large activity center buildings) , you’re to leave them there, go inside yourself and lock the doors.

It makes sense because people can be very stupid and you don’t want to risk everyone’s lives because of one Karen, but it amused me no end that the protocol was to just let them get mauled."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"Be careful walking by the open air monkey enclosures, because poop isn’t the only thing they’ll fling at you. It’s like that scene from Silence of the Lambs, when Clarice is going to see Hannibal Lecter… you know the scene I mean. Only much, much worse."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"Not a zoo keeper but worked in a zoos warehouse for a couple years. next time you go, ask someone which animals are “kill on sight” in an escape. the answers will surprise you.

Lions and tigers are typically on the “tranq and capture” list, but a jaguar the size of a golden retriever is KoS. the zoo i was with, the 2 jags were the only animals on site that were on the shoot to kill list. even the silverback was the tranq first list.

To answer “why”:

Jags will kill for sport, and if they escape they will claim an area as their own, then hunt and kill anyone in that area that they perceive as a threat (to them, or their food). all those videos of jags rubbing their paws on the glass near children? they weren’t hungry, the kids just look fun to kill to the jag."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"The most dangerous/feared animal in case of an escape is not, as you may think, lions, tigers or other large carnivores. It’s the chimps. Those things will rip your arm off and beat you to death with the bloody end as soon as look at you."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"Not a Zoo but I worked at a local science center as a part time guide, and one of our most popular exhibit was this incubator with baby chicks. We were told to tell visitors that the older baby chicks would be sent to schools as classroom pets or to the petting zoo.

In reality, we did sent the chicks to the Zoo… As live animal feed for the snakes and other carnivores."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"Don’t accept community service at a zoo as an alternative sentence, if you committed animal abuse. You’ll be better off in jail.

Knew a $$$ who kicked a neighbor’s dog out of anger, got the choice between 3 months in jail or 500 hours of community service at the zoo.

He chose the zoo, and predictably, those zookeepers made his life hell. Made him sift through the zoo restaurant’s dumpsters to look for recyclables (with only thin gloves on), made him sift through 1000+ pounds of ###t looking for guests’ lost items that “could have been thrown out”, made him do paperwork in a room adjacent to the penguin waste dumpster where he said you could taste the rotten fish in the air.

…he lasted about a week and then took the jail time."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"Hippos use their tail to fling their poop everywhere.

Stay out of their splash zone."

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)

"Our camels will spit if you piss them off, and it’s not just saliva like most people think.

You really really really really don’t want to upset our camels if you have any plans the rest of the week, please and thank you!"

Zookeepers Job Secrets (18 gifs)


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