Acid Picdump (86 pics)

> >> Today's English lesson ...
> >> "Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that love using words
> >> in rather unique ways, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't
> >> tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."
> >> A competition to see who can come up with the best one is held
> >> every year. This year's
> >>> winning submission is posted at the very
> >> end.
> >> . When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
> >> . A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
> >> . When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
> >> . The batteries were given out free of charge.
> >> . A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
> >> . A will is a dead giveaway.
> >> . With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
> >> . A boiled egg is hard to beat.
> >> . When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.
> >> . Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old
> >> was resisting a rest.
> >> . Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
> >> He's all right now.
> >> . A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
> >> . When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
> >> . The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
> >> . He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
> >> . When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
> >> . Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
> >> And the cream of the wretched crop:
> >>> . Those who get too big for
> >> their pants will be exposed in the end.

Nice lexicon indeed... post ok too.

I guess these are old hat:

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a psychiatrist, but I was a-freud.

I was going to be a doctor... But I didn't have the patience.

I was gonna be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was foul.

I lost my job at the massage parlor. I rubbed people the wrong way.

I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.

I was working in an orange juice factory, but I couldn't concentrate.

and my vote for punniest line

I used to be a butcher, but I backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in my work

# 22,

"Can I marry you, hanna"

I'm off to the park now :07:

#9 Somebody got kicked in the nuts that day.

#80 is a hugely long tub! seriously! 4 full grown men (Jamaican?) practicing bobsled positions? Wow!