• Category: Story  |
  • 12 May, 2009  |
  • Views: 2576  |
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This bloke walks into the poshest restaurant in town!
“Where’s the god damn, mother fucking Manager you cock sucking arse wipe” he politely inquires to one of the waiters. The waiter is naturally taken aback and replies “excuse me sir but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can”.

The manager comes over and the bloke asks ” are you the chicken fucking, manager of this bastard joint?”.
“Yes sir, I am” replies the manager, “but I would prefer it if you could refrain from speaking such profanities in this, a private restaurant”.
“Fuck off” replies the bloke “and where’s the fucking piano?”
“Pardon says the manager”.



  • Category: Story  |
  • 8 May, 2009  |
  • Views: 3193  |
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Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop.

The redhead sees her boyfriend buying flowers. Red sighs and says, “Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.”




  • Category: Story  |
  • 8 May, 2009  |
  • Views: 2988  |
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This couple was on holiday in India. They were touring aroundthe marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop, from inside they heard a gentleman with an Indian accent say, “You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.” So the couple walked in.

The Indian man said to them, “I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex, like great desert camel.”

Well, the girlfriend was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her boyfriend felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex God he was. The boyfriend asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?”
The Indian man replied, “Just try dem on, Saiheeb.”



  • Category: Story  |
  • 8 May, 2009  |
  • Views: 2711  |
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An old man lived alone in Idaho.
He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Daryl, who used to help him, was in Prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Daryl,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad



  • Category: Story  |
  • 7 May, 2009  |
  • Views: 2691  |
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Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this.

Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.
The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is Called “Mate Match”. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers “yes”, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.
The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.



S&M

  • Category: Story  |
  • 7 May, 2009  |
  • Views: 2381  |
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Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven’t seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc., and finally gets around to their sex lives.

Sue says, “It’s OK. We get it on every week or so, but it’s no big adventure; how’s yours?”



  • Category: Story  |
  • 7 May, 2009  |
  • Views: 2396  |
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The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon” Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

“Good morning, madam. I’ve come to….”

“Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,” Mrs. Smith cut in.



  • Category: Story  |
  • 6 May, 2009  |
  • Views: 2249  |
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1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000.00 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tike was Ms. Robertson’s son.

2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000.00 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran his hand over with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice that someone was at the wheel of the car whose hubcap he was trying to steal.



  • Category: Story  |
  • 6 May, 2009  |
  • Views: 2410  |
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“In retrospect, I admit it was unwise to try to gain access to my house via the cat flap,” Gregor Knopf admitted to reporters in Bremen, Germany. “I suppose that’s the reason they’re called cat flaps, rather than human flaps, is because they’re too small for people, and perhaps I should have realized that.”

Knopf (41), a gardener from Bremen, was relating how he had become trapped in his own front door for 2 days, after losing his house keys. “I got my head and shoulders through the flap but became trapped fast around the waist. At first, it all seemed rather amusing, I sang songs and told myself jokes. But then I wanted to go to the lavatory. I began shouting for help, but my head was in the hallway so my screams were muffled.”



  • Category: Story  |
  • 6 May, 2009  |
  • Views: 2772  |
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The following test was developed by a combination of top U.S. and European psychologists. The results are extremely accurate in describing your personality with one simple question.

Which is your favorite Teletubbie:
Yellow
Purple
Green
Red