Funny and Profound Chinese Proverbs

Ok, these are not actual Chinese proverbs (I checked), so let’s just call them Hollywood stereotyped Chinese proverbs. (Pretty sure you can imagine Mr Miyagi saying one of these to karate kid!)

Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.