USER PANEL



Login:
Password:

SEARCH 

ARCHIVE

«    Dec 2016    »
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

December 2016 (66)
November 2016 (725)
October 2016 (695)
September 2016 (727)
August 2016 (762)
July 2016 (695)

CV Quotes

  • Category: Story  |
  • 16 Jun, 2009  |
  • Views: 2446  |
  • Like
  • +3
  • Dislike  |
  •  
  •   
These are taken from real CVs and cover letters and were printed in the July 21,1997 issue of Fortune Magazine
1. “I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.”
2. “I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms.”
3. “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
4. “Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.”
5. “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
6. “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
7. “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
8. “Let’s meet , so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
9. “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
10. “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
11. “I was working for my mom until she decided to move.”
12. “Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.”
13. “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
14. “I am loyal to my employer at all costs…Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
15. “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
16. “My goal is to be a meterologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.”
17. “I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.”
18. “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
19. “As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.”
20. “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
21. “Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
22. “Marital status: often. Children: various.”
23. “Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn’t work under those conditions.”
24. “The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.”
25. “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
26. “References: none. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”

Do you like it?



№1 Author: jmays931 (28 Aug 2009 16:47) Total user comments: 529


  • Status: User offline
  • Activity rewards:
  • Dislike
  • 0
  • Like
Marital status: often.... now that's priceless
  Reply       
№2 Author: salsapopo (5 Oct 2009 12:36) Total user comments: 12723


  • Status: User offline
  • Activity rewards:
  • Dislike
  • 0
  • Like
07
  Reply       
№3 Author: miscellaneous (4 Dec 2010 19:29) Total user comments: 4179


  • Status: User offline
  • Activity rewards:
  • Dislike
  • 0
  • Like
34
  Reply       

Add comment

Name:

E-Mail:


bold italic underlined strike Ensert smilies
Type the two words shown in the image: