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The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

  • Category: Pics  |
  • 17 Jan, 2014  |
  • Views: 10359  |
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You have a girlfriend, and everyone asks “So when are you two getting married?’ You get married. You’re married, and everyone asks ‘So when are you two going to have children?’ You have a child. You have a child, and everyone asks, ‘So when are you having the next one?’

1 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

When Loulou was born, I was in the delivery room watching the whole thing. Was I overwhelmed in a tsunami of love? Not really.


2 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

To future fathers: When you’re asked how you like being a new dad, follow this script to the letter.

Q: So, how do you like being a father? Do you love it? When I told people I didn’t like it very much, their faces would wrinkle like a walnut.


3 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

And then there was my wife, Carla. When Loulou was born, she vanished.


4 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

I missed her and me, together.


5 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

I had been downsized. Meet my replacement: The alien




6 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

Take me to your leader


7 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

Also, sleep is cancelled for the next three years.


8 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

Everything Loulou did was utterly incomprehesible. It was like watching a wildlife documentary.


9 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

The first time I heard Loulou sneeze, I was so happy. Something human, that I could relate to!


10 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

Even our dog had no interest in loulou.


11 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

Does she need milk? Has she crapped her pants? Is she too hot? Too cold? Handling a baby was like working with highly unstable explosives.


12 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

I made plates.
I thought this was high comedy, but Carla was not amused.


13 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

Almost worse than the screaming, was the anticipation. Especially when you’re lying in bed, at 2am.


14 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

Let’s not forget the baby industrial complex. A baby wipe warmer? Don’t forget the baby-bottle sterilizer.


15 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

I understood that babies like bright colors. Or at least, toy companies think they do.


16 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

When she turns 20, I’ll be 60. Would I seem like an old man to her? Confused by what she wears, how she talks? Would she roll her eyes, and say ‘oh dad...’ Or would we be friends? Drinking cups of tea in the kitchen, talking about the latest boyfriend?


17 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

Both of my parents died in the last four years. In fact, my father died four months before loulou was born. There are so many things I wish I could ask my mother.


18 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

It’s sad, but I realize as I get older that all cliches are true. I do something I said I’d NEVER do: Baby photos. It’s really quite embarassing. When I meet other parents, I lunge for the iphone. I can’t WAIT to bore people. ‘Look, I know you don’t like baby pictures, but Loulou is different!’


19 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

I look back at all these photographs, and see how they reveal my slow and inevitable metamorphosis. From detached observer, to eager participant. From photographer, to father.


20 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

Humor is how I connect with the world. It’s my language. So when loulou began to speak that language to me, it was pretty extraordinary. The first time I teased her, and she teased me back, I cried.


21 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

There is such a sense of love in these pictures that wasn’t there before.


22 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)

I want to end with an apology to Carla. Also, I want to apologize to loulou. One day, she’ll see these photographs, and read these words. I want her to know that even though I found the begining of her life quite bewildering, I’m so glad she’s here now. I love you very much, loulou.


23 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)


24 The Reluctant Father’s Poignant Photo Journey (24 pics)


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№1 Author: No1 (17 Jan 2014 10:19) Total user comments: 1339


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That was really awesome
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№2 Author: sabac (17 Jan 2014 10:41) Total user comments: 71


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i can't understand this guy.. from the first second i fallen in love when i saw my daughter! i was the happiest man on earth!
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№3 Author: mantley rawson (17 Jan 2014 12:23) Total user comments: 361


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Never felt like a son.
Never felt like a husband.
Never felt like a father...

Nevertheless I must behave like a son, a husband and a father in every day life...

Big problem.
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№4 Author: drmato (17 Jan 2014 17:26) Total user comments: 236


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what's this shit???
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№5 Author: Lu (17 Jan 2014 18:21) Total user comments: 15082


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Right on, rawson.
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№6 Author: mobius (17 Jan 2014 19:16) Total user comments: 1073


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I love being a father and grandfather. This was touching.
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№7 Author: fairmania (17 Jan 2014 19:35) Total user comments: 1436


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Even though I bonded with our two sons from the start, there are still things within this post that I can sympathise with.

In particular the bewilderment of what the baby is crying for, especially when you're tired and you have done all the checks.

It is hard, more so when you haven't 'clicked' yet.
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№8 Author: Brak61 (18 Jan 2014 23:01) Total user comments: 676


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My reaction was more like total bewilderment. :15: I was now responsible for another humans existence? Absurd!

The last of 3 just graduated university on Dec.13th and took a job in Hartford CT. The house is eerily silent now. :11: Time to learn how to live my life for me again. :04:
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